we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You don't make any sense
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