just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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