So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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