Soap is not a condiment
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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