I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
