Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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