So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
