Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
