i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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