Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
