I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
