32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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