Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
