I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
