I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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