to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
These tits shall not be calmed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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