Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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