At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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