You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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