Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
