Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
