Im at strip club and am horny
My nipple is on Facebook.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
