Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
