i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
