i permit you to call me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
