The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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