idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
