Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
