i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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