TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
