Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
