Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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