masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
