I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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