that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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