you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I smell like Dick and happiness
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
