Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
only you would photoshop your dick
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
