Are we in a gay sports bar?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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