Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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