i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
