how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
