Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
