That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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