would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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