Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
