Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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