Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
