He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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