So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
