I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
