the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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