I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
