I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
